Editor’s note: I recommend listening to Simi’s Complete Me, before/as you read.
Can I really remember the first time I met my man?
Yes, I can. It happened back in school. We had a mutual friend, and I was searching for that friend after an exam. Since I knew they worked together, I approached him and asked, “Please, do you know where this person is?” He replied, “No, I don’t think he’s out yet. If he was, I would have seen him.”
The way he answered struck me. He sounded proud, almost dismissive. My immediate reaction was to roll my eyes and think, What’s wrong with this one?
I wasn’t the social type in school. I usually kept to myself, so even approaching someone took effort. So, getting that kind of attitude in return made me feel some type of way. Still, I moved on because I needed to find my friend.
Even though I felt his pride, something else stood out. He was tall, and I had always liked tall guys. His voice carried itself too, strong and clear. So yes, I noticed good things, but the pride cancelled them out. That was my first impression of him.
That meeting didn’t lead anywhere, and we didn’t speak again. Almost a year passed before we reconnected, long after school. We happened to be in the same class group chat. One day, someone said something in the chat, and he replied sarcastically.
The joke went over the person’s head, so I jumped in to explain what he meant. That little defense I gave him was the spark. After that, he slid into my DM. At first, he thought I was someone else because we had three Stars in class and that was his about name. When he realized who I was, the conversation didn’t end. We just kept talking.
When we started talking, he had a girlfriend. I told myself, “Okay, this is just friendship.” Eventually, he broke up with her, but we still talked every day. I can’t point to a single moment when I started liking him again. It just grew naturally.
Back in school, I already had a small crush on him, even if I buried it. Talking more brought that feeling to the surface. Slowly, I became fond of him, very fond of him. By the time we started dating, I wasn’t even thinking it would last. I thought it was just vibes, you know, let’s go with the flow. But with time, it deepened into love.
One memory that stays with me is when I went back to school to write my post-UTME. He was already there for his HND, and he offered me a place to stay. By then, we were dating, but we hadn’t seen each other in over a year.
I’ve always had a no sex before marriage rule, so staying with him made me nervous. I worried he would pressure me like some guys do. To my surprise, there was none of that. He respected my boundaries completely. I felt safe, genuinely safe, and that meant so much to me.
Looking back, I realize we’ve shared so many moments I hold dear. One of my favorites was when I traveled from Lagos to Jos to visit him. He took care of me the whole time, made me feel at home, and paid attention to every detail, even buying me pads when I needed them.
We’ve also gone on road trips, hiked together, and celebrated birthdays in the sweetest ways. He cooks for me, but my birthdays are always extra special. I remember my last birthday when he made meals for me all through the day. From breakfast to lunch, and dinner, everything prepared with love.
Two weeks before the proposal, my best friend told me his adventure group was planning a hangout in Ibadan. I had always wanted to join their outings, so I agreed. I didn’t think much of it. Days leading up to the event, my friends started sending me clothes and gifts.
My best friend in Lagos sent me a jean jacket and trousers. My boyfriend sent me Vans sneakers. At the time, I thought they were just thoughtful gifts. I didn’t know they were all part of a bigger plan.
On the day, my best friend styled me. We climbed a hill at the venue, and I thought it was just for fun and pictures. While I posed for the camera, my boyfriend, now fiancé, appeared from behind. At that moment, it clicked.
Still, when he knelt down, I was shocked. Lightheaded even. I remember thinking, Wow, so this is really happening. This is where I step into marriage. It felt surreal, like a grown-up moment I wasn’t fully ready for, but also deeply right.
He had always joked about never kneeling to propose, so when he did, it made me laugh. Him sneaking up on me was funny too. The whole day was beautiful, photographers everywhere, videographers capturing everything. Afterward, we had dinner with our friends. It was sweet, thoughtful, and unforgettable.
One thing I admire deeply about him is how attentive he is. He listens. Sometimes I forget the things I’ve said, but he remembers and acts on them.
Years ago, I told him I wouldn’t want to wear a gown or heavy makeup for my proposal. I just wanted to look like myself, in jeans and a shirt. On that day, that’s exactly how I was dressed. He listened.
When I think of our future, I picture us happy, content, and healthy. I see us supporting each other’s goals, personal and shared. We’re going to be a family, maybe one or two children, and a life filled with love.
I see us traveling the world together, Greece, Paris, London. I see us living joyfully, side by side, chasing dreams and building memories.
That’s the life I look forward to with him.
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