I have always heard, read, and watched stories of women having crazy experiences with weird men and I’d always thought it was wild, not knowing I would be in for a wild ride myself.
I met this guy, a photographer, at a program. He was ten years older than me, but honestly, I couldn’t tell until a long time later because of the way he behaved. He was so impulsive, and acted like a hormone-raged young adult.
Looking back now, it’s really not funny at all.
We never really talked beyond the usual greetings, you know, “good morning,” “good evening,” and all that.
But on the last day of the program, we finally spoke. We were backstage, waiting to go on.
He was drinking something from a red plastic cup, and I was thirsty, so I asked him for a sip. I just assumed it was coke or malt, some kind of soft drink.
“Give me some, please, I’m thirsty,” I said.
“No, just wait for yours. It will come soon.” He laughed, but he didn’t give me the cup. I didn’t realize until later that he had been drinking alcohol.
We didn’t talk again after that until the program ended. Everyone was tired from all the dancing and shouting. I went to the back to sit down and catch my breath.
The lady who organized the program needed my attention, and when I got back, he was sitting in my chair.
I sat down next to him, and just like that, we started talking. The person on stage was saying harsh things about people who drank and smoked. I said the comments didn’t make sense, and he looked surprised.
“I thought you were a judgmental and uptight person,” he told me. “I’m surprised to hear that from you.”
I laughed and said I thought the same about him, and that’s when he admitted he’d been drinking earlier. The vibe struck there, and we got close. We exchanged contacts and spent so much time texting each other, and then one day, out of the blue, he called. He needed help with a photoshoot.
I was a bit confused because we’d never talked about me helping him with work. I figured he needed me to record behind-the-scenes clips, so I went with my phone fully charged, ready to help.
When I got there, it was a wedding shoot, and I ran into a girl I knew from my university and church days.
I ended up getting some videos and clips for them. Afterward, the girl asked who would edit the footage. He looked at me and told her I would be editing them.
I was shocked. We had never talked about me shooting or editing videos. He was always the kind of person to make sudden decisions and expect you to be okay with them.
Even though I was enjoying the vibe, it was so unexpected, but I just said, “okay,” thinking we would edit it together later.
The girl liked the videos I made and decided to hire me for her wedding. That’s how I started working with him. We did weddings, a dedication, and a couple of other events together.
He invited me to his church, insisting his friends were great and we would vibe well. “They’re your kind of people,” he promised.
Turns out, my “kind of people,” according to him, were people who drank and smoked. I don’t have a problem with people who do that, but they are not my kind of people.
His friends were terrible. After church, we went to a friend’s house, and the whole time, they just talked about money, not how to build it, but how much they got or what they were buying. Just bragging and showing off. I should have realized then that he was the same kind of man.
As we kept working, people started pairing us up because we spent a lot of time together. They were always saying, “your man, your man.” I always made it clear he wasn’t my man. They never listened, so I just stopped correcting them. It felt so weird.
He was trying to flirt with me, buying me things and introducing me to people important to him. It was obvious he wanted to ask me out, but he hadn’t.
Then one day, he called, saying he was having bank issues and needed money. He and his visiting brother were stranded and wanted to eat. He said both their banks were having problems. I didn’t suspect anything; we all know how Nigerian banks can be.
Later that evening, he said they still hadn’t been able to eat. I considered him a friend, and I always go all out for my friends. I decided to help.
I asked if I should send him five thousand naira for food, and he could refund me later. He said okay. I sent the money to him immediately. This was around February or March this year.
Shortly after that incident, I went to a bar for a friend’s birthday that he invited me to. I didn’t eat anything there and he didn’t care to offer anything, not food, not even water. It was so off-putting that you would invite someone out and not offer them a drink. I was glad I had eaten at home before I came.
He called my acquaintance, and when she came, she wasn’t alone. She told him to buy drinks for her and her friend, and he said “cool.” I thought, Oh, so you can buy her a drink. I didn’t know then that he had no money to pay for that drink either.
I had been to this man’s house about five times, but he never offered to pay for my transport, even though he was trying to ask me out. After my first visit, he changed his interior decor, saying he did it so I would take him “serious.”
He constantly stressed me out when we worked. One time, I needed to meet him to send some raw videos to a client. I went to his house twice, and both times I couldn’t send them.
He first promised to use his generator so I could transfer them from his laptop, but then I found out the laptop was his neighbor’s, and the owner had already taken it back.
He’s the kind of person who will borrow a simple thing like a microphone or a laptop and tell people it’s his. Why lie about something so small?
The guy was owing me money, and the last time I went to meet him, I saw him and his brother coming back from the market with big packages. Guess what most of it was? Drinks!
He said he got all the drinks for a neighbor’s wedding preparation. He just wanted people to think he had money. It was pathetic. That day, I made sure I got the videos off my phone. The ones I couldn’t send, I just deleted.
While he was still owing me, he asked me to be his date for the wedding without an iota of shame. He even told me to decide on what I’d wear, and tell him how much it would cost so he could pay for it. He seriously wanted people to see me with him.
I almost agreed to go with him until he made a comment. I don’t remember exactly how he put it, but it sounded like, “I want to show everybody that I got someone like you.”
Omo, I ran! I can’t be associated with that kind of man.
He loved it when people called us a couple and would encourage them. Me, I corrected them every chance I got, until I just let them talk. Later, after his character was too clear to ignore, I made sure I wasn’t seen around him anymore.
I told him I wouldn’t attend the wedding with him because I didn’t want people pairing us up. He started throwing a pity party. By that point, I was so done with his attitude.
This man-boy almost got me into trouble with another client.
The event planner who hired him was arrested, and they almost arrested him too. He then brought me into it because the lady said I was there. It wasn’t even a job for me; I went for the experience.
I later found out the lady actually wanted content creators, but he didn’t want me to get the job because he was already getting jealous. She was wealthy, and he wanted to keep me out of it. She asked for my number, and he told her I wasn’t serious.
But on the wedding day, the lady was angry at me, saying I never sent her my number. That’s how I knew something was seriously wrong with this boy.
I heard from some people that know him that he has a bad reputation. The choir at his church gave him their money, and he hasn’t paid it back since last year.
Another person said he took photos at their sister’s wedding months ago and never delivered them. He is so disorganized. He takes a lot of alcohol, probably just to escape.
When I pressed him for my money, he tried to guilt-trip me. He said I was only insulting him because of money. I told him he had to stop with the guilt-tripping and just give me my money. I told him to pay the other girl, Favor, too, so he could be at rest. He said I insulted him. I was literally giving him advice!
I eventually sent him a furious voice note. I went all, “Guy, what the hell! You’re the one blowing up my line a few months ago, and now I call you, and you won’t pick up!” I was still having to look for him, asking people if they saw him at church. It was crazy.
After so long, he finally gave me half of what he owed me. I just took it and decided to delete him from my head. I don’t even think I have his number anymore.
The client from that messy wedding kept calling me about the videos. She even called me at 4 freakin’ a.m. once! She was so frustrated. She was lucky I had those videos because I almost deleted them.
Jesus, I just wiped those people off my mind after that particular incident. The other day, on my birthday, his brother told me “happy birthday” and just reminded me of him. Oh my God, I still have his brother’s number. I feel like he’s the same, just like his brother.
He in particular, takes so much alcohol just to escape reality.
These boys are up to 30, maybe he’ll be 31 this year. The whole thing about his bank giving issue was a very big fat lie. All of that happened right after he bought new furniture and a TV, thinking he was about to get a girlfriend.
He just finished his money on those things and couldn’t admit he was broke, so he blamed it on bank issues.
He was such a liar.
It’s been so long, and I feel so free and away from all of his nonsense. I archived him on WhatsApp because my pride wouldn’t let me just block him straight up.
But when I saw him viewing and even liking my story while he still owed me, I was pissed off at his audacity. I blocked his number right away.
It’s been some time now and I am way over the episode but whenver I think about it, half of the time I’m wishing it never happened, the other half I’m glad it did because it was a learning experience and I have become more people conscious after the whole thing.
I can’t say exactly what was in my head the period I indulged him. It wasn’t boredom because I was working, and it most definitely wasn’t love.
I was just around the wrong man at the wrong time.
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