“Hi Eve,
Have you ever felt like your life was happening to someone else? Like you were trapped in a story that wasn’t yours? That’s exactly how my journey began, a long road filled with disappointment, mental health struggles, and the unexpected path to finding myself again the entire way.
I am going to tell a story about the differences and changes I have experienced since moving from a public university to a private university, how that has affected my mental health, how I wasn’t able to quickly adjust, and the things I had to do for my career.
My first university experience was a heartbreak from the start. I’d been admitted to a public university to study Animal Science, but my real dream was always wrapped up in computers, in the fast-paced world of tech. Animal Science, when the letter came, felt like a cruel joke.
I was so devastated that I dragged my feet, arriving at school late, just as everyone else was deep into their first semester exams. The result was completely predictable; I failed miserably.
That failure wasn’t just on paper; it seeped into my spirit, leaving me deeply depressed. The second semester mirrored the first, just as soul-crushing, a huge failure.
Everything about that school experience just shut me down. I used to be a really smart student, always dreaming big, wanting to achieve a lot. But honestly, the public university system didn’t help.
Classes were always crowded, hundreds of us crammed in, and no one really paid attention to us. Everything felt so impersonal, and it made me totally withdraw into my shell.
I stopped talking to anybody and wasn’t making friends. I even forgot how to. It felt like this awful cycle just kept spinning out of control. At one point, my parents even asked if I wanted to leave the school, and I said no.
Not because things were okay, but because I was just too mentally exhausted to even consider starting over, too tired to face another potential disappointment from the Nigerian education system.
I was depressed, truly depressed, for most of my time at that university. I simply didn’t have the strength to start over, to risk getting disappointed by the Nigerian school system all over again.
Growing up, I attended good primary and secondary schools. I was so hyped up, ready to do something amazing for my country. But then I got to university, and it just felt like such a let-down. It seriously took a toll on my mental health.
During those years in Animal Science, with my parents watching closely, I constantly felt like I never quite fit in. I had a few acquaintances, but it wasn’t like I had real friends.
If the one friend I did make wasn’t around, I’d literally go days without talking to anyone else. I felt so awkward, never knowing what to say or do. I was always out of place, even during farm practicals or crowded lectures.
I spent five long years in that school, and I hated every single moment. Then, ASUU strikes began, one after another, and I just kept thinking, ‘What is even happening?‘ All of that stress just kept piling up on my mental health.
Honestly, from my experience, the Nigerian public school system was utterly soul-crushing. I’d sit in my apartment in university and wonder aloud to my classmates, ‘What are we even going to do with these degrees?‘
It felt like we weren’t being prepared for anything real, not even if we wanted to pursue opportunities outside Nigeria.
It truly seemed like dreams themselves were a luxury no one could afford. My classmates have graduated now, and I genuinely don’t know what most of them are doing. To be honest, everyone’s just confused.
I don’t even have their contacts anymore; I didn’t really have them back then either. I’m not trying to judge them, but even when we were in school, they were trying so hard. I always questioned why they were working that hard and what they hoped to achieve with those degrees.
Around my second or third year, a switch of hope finally turned on inside me, and something changed. I decided to switch into tech, even if it meant pursuing it outside of my degree. My academic record was very bad, a mere one point something on a five-point scale (a CGPA of 1.0 out of 5.0).
But I’d made up my mind: I’d just get the Animal Science degree, whatever, and pursue tech on the side. I knew that an Animal Science degree wouldn’t be useful for anything anyway.
I went through a couple of hard times and realized I could actually write. I’d been an avid reader as a child, and I was about 16 then, around 2019, when coding was exploding and all the rage. I decided I was going to learn how to code. I didn’t even have a laptop then.
As I started learning, I tried to tell my parents, but they didn’t take me seriously. They just assumed it was a hobby. I don’t even know why they thought that, but the gist is, they weren’t supportive, even though I desperately needed them to be.
I needed a laptop- and help from someone with experience, because at 17, I had no idea how to turn these skills into a real career. Eventually, my uncle gave me an old laptop, and I was able to learn how to code a bit with it.
In 2021, I landed a remote internship opportunity where they were supposed to teach us proper coding. I poured my entire being into it. There were about 200 interns, and they were only selecting 30 to come work with them at the office.
Guess what? I was part of the 30 selected. This was during my fourth year, when I was on IT (Industrial Training). That old laptop I was using was constantly slowing me down, and I was trying to get a lot of help from people.
But despite all the pleading and talking I did, all my desperate ‘Please, can I do this? Please, can I do this?‘ It became painfully clear that I wasn’t going to get any help. It felt like all the efforts I’d been putting in were for nothing.
Imagine trying to learn complex coding without a proper laptop, struggling with new ideas, doing whatever you possibly could just to grasp a sliver of understanding. During that period, I was constantly drowning in doubt, questioning if I was even cut out for coding. I doubted myself so profoundly.
I had expected people to help me because I felt like I’d already proved so much, but the lack of belief from my parents, my friends, everyone who had witnessed my journey, it just shattered my confidence and brought everything crashing down. It was utterly devastating.
Around mid-2022, I was in a very bad place. When I got back home, I wasn’t talking to anybody. I was just crying every single day because I felt like I wasn’t doing well in school at all; my CGPA was ridiculously low, and nobody was taking my tech aspirations seriously. I kept wondering, “What am I doing wrong?”
That’s when I finally decided, out of sheer fear, to just speak out. I don’t know what sparked the fire in me, but I told my parents I didn’t want to continue with school anymore. I think we were about to enter the 500-level at the time.
Another thing that happened was ASUU strike. You remember that one? They went on strike in 2022, and at that point, I just wanted to graduate. But I couldn’t because of the strike.
I was just tired, and I constantly felt like I was going to waste my time again. How many more strikes were we going to have? The career I was chasing? I felt like I failed at it. The course I was studying? Failed at that, too. My CGPA was nothing to write home about, and I just felt like I had no future.
I was 20 years old then, and I kept thinking, ‘What am I doing with my life?’ You know, because I’d see people my age, 21, 22, doing so much, doing so well. Their success, coupled with some people not believing in me, just deepened my self-doubt.
In that moment of desperation, I thought about how much African parents value education, regardless of the circumstances. So, I decided to use that. I looked my parents in the eye and told them, with absolute certainty, ‘I want to change schools. I cannot stay here again. If not, I will drop out.’
That was the turning point. I was ready to go to the end with them. Perhaps they could tell that I meant it, or they too were tired of the Nigerian public school system. They actually agreed to switch schools for me.
Initially, I thought they’d let me transfer to a private university at a higher level, like 300 level or something. But no, in the end, I had to start afresh from 100 level.
And that really humbled me. I was suddenly in classes with 15 and 16-year-olds, and I just didn’t get them, their mindset, or anything about them. I don’t know if this is generalizing, but it’s really different when you’re dealing with people from a private university.
In public universities, everybody’s all about the hustle. We want a future. Everybody’s doing something: someone’s writing, someone’s doing this, someone’s learning how to code, everyone’s trying to build something.
But in private universities? They just don’t seem to care as much. Nobody cares. They’re all more relaxed. I don’t know if that makes sense, but that was the energy I was used to.
These kids were younger, fresh out of secondary school, and it just threw me back into that whole secondary school vibe. Like, ‘What’s that girl wearing? Why’s she dressed like that?’ And I’d just be thinking, ‘Who cares? Like, honestly, who cares?‘
I was still in 100 level, and the culture shock was crazy. I became depressed again. I didn’t get it, because people were really wasteful with money. Even their standard of beauty was different.
Someone would say, ‘Oh my God, this guy’s so pretty,‘ and I’d just have to laugh. It felt like an extension of secondary school, where everybody knews everybody and everybody’s talking about everybody. I was just confused, and I thought, ‘I don’t understand this. This is not what I’m used to.‘
I’ve spent two years there now, and I’m not sure I’m like them, but I’ve adjusted better. I’ve come to know that, okay, I’m here for myself. Also, I never went back to coding after that traumatic experience because it was just too much for me to step back into. And I’ve had a bit of a creative block since.
But I’ve been dabbling in things I genuinely like. I’ve started writing again. I’ve been trying social media management to see if I can really do something I truly want. My CGPA is also very high now, from a 1.1 over 5.0, I’m now at a 4.1 over 5.0. I’m very grateful for that.
I’m also leaning back into my creative side, pursuing opportunities not just for the sake of a degree, but because I actually want to. I can at least be considered for applications in the tech industry now, which feels like a huge step forward.
Things have gotten better, both personally and academically. My journey from Animal Science to tech and now to embracing my creative side has been a long road. I hope I’ve been able to convey the essence of this story, despite leaving out a few parts.
My main message is for people who have the opportunity to give their children the best education they can, regardless of the cost, to take it if they can. It can prevent so much self-doubt, struggle, and confusion before they actually know what they want.
So yeah, that’s it. Thank you for letting me share my story.”
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